The sources that I found to contextualize my data have been incorporated and the paper is much more interesting now! Although I found several journal articles and books that discussed European immigration to the West, this journal discussed the urban planning and growth of Salt Lake City. It is in the new bibliography!!!!
Additionally, I turned the data into a table which is much more readable. That is also uploaded below. Sheet Three is the one with the table on it!!!
Critique of draft:
Sarah,
I can tell that you have worked very hard and it shows in your paper. The way that you presented your data made it very clear and easy to understand. The only problems I had with your paper is a lack of complete explanation about a few small things. For example, on page 4 you mention a Sanborn map. I do not know what that is. I think it would be good to explain what a Sanborn map is so that the reader will know and so it can be a more credible source. Also, you mention the Cowans and the Cummings once in the paper. I think that if you mention them again, maybe towards the end of the paper, it would create a nice flow.
Overall grade: B+
Posted by: David Andre | April 22, 2008 at 09:54 AM